Filed under: The Self
Hi there. My name’s Alyssa, and I am a part-time therapist.
I am very approachable and I have the ability to make you feel at ease. You will feel very comfortable talking to me, and although you might not even know me that well…you’ll feel like you can talk to me about some very personal things. I am kind, loving, warm…and often- silly; which is great because you are then revealed to just how real I am.
I only ever encourage you to do what’s right. I speak morally, ethically, and of course…in my opinion. I remind you that the choices that you make are yours; and that I can only inspire, guide, and provide you with insight to your particular situation. Every decision is your own, and although we cannot predict, nor avoid the outcomes to our decisions- we can always approach things in the best possible way. I speak on behalf of experience; things that I have gone through and things that I have seen at face value. I am very empathetic, and I try to relate to your situation as much as I can.
Everything that we go through in life is an experience- one that we must learn from; and just like you, I am also learning. This journey that we call life is filled with morals; lessons to be learned….and sometimes, talking to someone is a great way to exert all of the pent up emotions that we encounter and deal with. At many times, we have trouble communicating what we need to say and how we really feel; it’s completely natural. However, the very key to expressing such emotion- is truth. It’s more complicated than it sounds…sometimes being honest with ourselves and the situations that we’re in is the hardest thing to do; but not only is it the best thing to do, but it is what needs to be done. We, our individual selves- are where we need to begin.
Well, it was wonderful meeting you.
Just please know one more thing…
I am more than willing to listen…all you have to do is talk.
Damn.
Watching this was like seeing my heart verbalize its emotions on stage.
She could not be more precise.
She could not be more real.
I feel her to the deepest of depths.
“…apparently, you forgot; that honesty begins by being real with yourself, and the ones you claim you love. The truth cannot be hidden.
What’s clouded in darkness will always come to light my love. You should have known that. Claiming you saw my light so clearly and brightly. I guess shit happens…”
But, being the amazing women that we are; we always remain shining.
____________________________________________________________________
“Some n*ggas recognize the light, but they can’t handle the glare.” -Com Sense
____________________________________________________________________
My heart on stage could not be more passionate.
I’m speechless.
Ooooooh how I love the gorgeous weather. When the sun shines so bright, I just can’t help but smile… It’s days like today that make me appreciate all of the blessings that I have in my life. It’s days like today that make me feel all warm inside. I don’t know what it is…but this whole week, I’ve been incredibly…content…elated…exalted…I just feel…at peace.
I’ve got this feeling of humble beauty that has really taken over me…
Some part of me doesn’t quite know how to react to it…the other part is nothing but grateful. I don’t remember the last time I’ve ever felt this amazing. I usually appear quite happy…but that doesn’t even begin to describe the way that I feel…it’s so much more. Regardless…right now is what it is. Know that…this feeling is achievable; it is all subsequent to your approach. And though I do consider myself a “little miss sunshine” kind of person…I don’t always feel that way. I too hit lows…I run into bullshit…probably more than you’d think. However, the key to maintaining such a positive outlook is simple: attitude.
I vow to humble myself through EVERY situation I encounter…and it’s honestly the best thing you could possibly do. Because once you’ve decided that you do not have the time and energy to waste on any problem, trial, dilemma…any negative…you reach this point; and you’ll be assured that there is nowhere else to go…but UP.
*Know what your worth, what you deserve, and how you deserve to be treated.
Keep your faith strong.
STAY GOLDEN.
Shine.
…and don’t ever stop.
_________________________________________________________
I had the opportunity to share some dope vibes with the sun today, and I wrote in the park…I intend on doing this much more often.
SOLEIL
As the clouds shifted,
The sun shone through.
Gleaming.
Glowing.
Bright.
As the weather changed,
So did she;
For the better-
Always for the better.
Growing beautifully
Like a flower in bloom.
She stood tall.
Confident and strong.
Refreshed;
As if a crisp rainfall had watered her soil.
The light nurtures and guides her.
Growing constantly.
Constantly wanting to grow.
Her faith keeps her planted and humble.
Her heart and soul- her roots
Are grounded deep in positivity.
The sun is her mentor.
Reminding her to shine.
And she promises to never stop…
No matter what the weather,
She won’t ever stop.
Gleaming.
Glowing.
Bright.
She stands tall.
Growing.
Maintaining ascension.
She remains shining…
Even brighter than the sun.
Filed under: The Self
Alright, so I got home from dinner just a while ago…and honestly, I had the most amazing time. I feel almost overwhelmed with how good I feel right now….I kinda feel like a crazy person, lol…but a happy one! haha. It just shows how important it is to surround yourself with positive energy. The vibe was ridiculous…
Inspiring. Encouraging. Motivating. I feel unstoppable.
This feeling is perfect. It is so very appropriate. Today is the beginning of a new month; and although I can’t believe that it’s already June…I’m grateful. The time’s gone by quickly, but we can’t really avoid the change; it happens. But, I’ve discovered that I like change…because it brings with it signs of growth. June’s going to be good. So good. It’s crazy how wonderful you can feel if you just allow yourself to open up to what’s out there. No limits. Fly high. If you approach anything the right way…you’ll truly be: unstoppable.
“You already have all you need to be happy; you just need to find the strategies to tap into the good feelings that you’re capable of.”
*Peace & love to ya!
As I put what I’ve learned from my past experiences into practice, I realize that I am way too amazing for this bullshit…and so-
I’m doing me…as it should be.
And I do me…like a boss 
I leave for Dominica in t-minus 2 days. Ohhh man…it’s gon’ be crazzzzy.
I have been reminded of the person who I was….the self that I had lost when I had come face to face with fear. Letting my doubts, my worries, my way….consume me, and losing sight of the individual that was once so easygoing, relaxed, and confident.
This is a blog that I had posted almost 2 years ago… (I’ve “bolded” the things that presently stand out to me….my “reminders”)
I HAVE A PLAN
[Monday, September 17, 2007; 12:20pm]
“For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” [Jeremiah 29:11]
I don’t like to over-analyze…I like to let things flow….I’ve learned that you shouldn’t worry so much about certain things in life, and instead, you need to learn to enjoy it…
Some people have these clear-cut goals set out for them- for example, knowing what they want to be from the age of 5, and growing up to be just that…..But it doesn’t work out that way for everyone….Not everybody knows what they want- whether it be a specific career or what they feel like wearing that day- indecisiveness comes across everybody some time. I used to be the pickiest person in the world…but growing up, I’ve learned to just appreciate what I had…and to be happy- because whatever it was would be a blessing in itself…Ok, the point of this whole thing is to put across the point that everybody’s got a plan….Even if it seems like the plans that we have for ourselves seem to disperse in different directions…it’s alright, because God’s got something bigger and better for us…We need to stop spending our lives worrying about what we wish we had, what we wish we didn’t have, and we need to start focusing on what we already have in our lives.
…We need to stop overlooking every little detail….because sometimes, the “overlooking” makes us lose sight of what’s right in front of us. We need to stop worrying about tomorrow…“Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” [Matthew 6:34] We need to appreciate what we have…and when things don’t seem to go right..when things don’t seem to go as we had “planned”…we know that we can count on God to help us…especially when we feel like we can’t help ourselves….
Life’s crazy…but the best thing we can do is live….“
___________________________________________________________
Reading this blog had opened my eyes to so much…
How much I have been missing out on because I’ve spent so much time worrying. But now looking back, and being reminded of the person that I was…the one that simply liked to let things flow, enjoy the scenery, appreciate what she had presently; with no fear, worry, or doubt of what was to come in the future, because she was confident…in herself, but especially her faith…
I have been reminded…and I want to be her again…
One day at a time.
No worries.
No doubts.
No fears.
I’m here.
Right here.
In the present.
PRESENTLY.
Mind & body.
Heart & soul.
I’m here.
No.
More.
Fear.
I rest easy.
Alright now…while I am at a peak in my journey of self-discovery here…let me just get a few things down…
I am a person who you generally would not think to go through a lot of hardship…particularly because my personality is one that’s really “sunny”…whatever that is. I’m one of those people who when you see them upset, it gets you upset kind of deal…it just ain’t a sight to see…especially for someone who does their best to only exude positive energy.
So, I like to learn the hard way. Let me further explain here…you know how there are some people that you meet in life and you’re like “damn, they always get the easy way out”? Yeah, I am definitely not one of those people. Life…well, is life. You live and…well, you learn. I apparently like to learn hard. I like to learn “hard” in many aspects of my life…but a grand subject in this “learning lesson” is…relationships.
I haven’t had the greatest past when it comes to life & love…in almost all cases I’ve played the “heartbreakee”. All but maybe one…which is a special case. But anyways, it’s a sad and shitty role…but hey, I’ve come to find that after you get over all the “damaged” and “jaded” perspectives, you only learn to really just learn from it all. Taking the positive from every situation, carrying that with you, and then going from there. Ok, now I’m not going to drop bombs and tears about my crappy heartbroken stories, but instead, this post was meant to share with you a moment of strength, clarity, and self-worth.
I’d like to share some positive with the world…and as any form of disclaimer, for whatever it’s worth…please note that whatever I’m about to say here is not to convey any sense of conceit; that’s not what it’s supposed to mean…
With every relationship I encounter, I only ever hope to learn from it. Whether it means getting my heart broken in the end, or a lifetime full of happiness- my main goal is to continuously learn and grow from the situation. I hope to learn how to be in and handle a relationship. I hope to learn how to better myself within one. I hope to learn about the other person. I hope to learn how to love. And I hope to learn about myself…There are so many things that I hope to learn within a relationship, but bottom line, that’s just it. I only ever want to learn, nourish, and grow.
Learning more about myself now…having just gone through, and still somewhat dealing with a past relationship, I’ve learned a lot about giving and receiving love. Having gone through so much difficulty and heartbreak in past experiences, I began to learn more and more about what I was worth and what I deserved. I had a tendency to give and give and…give, but didn’t really have such emotion or effort reciprocated; and instead, taken advantage of. My point is, I’ve come to learn a lot about my self-worth and how I feel I deserve to be treated.
I believe that I am a strong, independent, positive, genuine, sincere, and loving person. I stay humbled and I don’t ask for much. I am pleased with the simple things in life. Little gestures make me happy. I am really all about the “thought.” I am not into appearance or material possession. I appreciate honesty and effort in ways that you couldn’t imagine. I’ve got goals and ambition. I try to remain as selfless as possible. I am incredibly empathetic and I do my best to be understanding. I am constantly wanting to grow and learn from my mistakes. I care about your thoughts and opinions as much as I do my own. I only ever seek to be treated as, and I will only ever treat you as my equal. Because, so long as you don’t prove me wrong…I believe that you’re just as amazing and capable of shining a light that I aspire and hope to exude.
I’ve learned a lot about giving and receiving love, and I’ve learned that the highest expression of love is to give without expecting. I know that at many times within my past relationship I may have expected too much…and I’m sorry. Instead of just learning to appreciate the effort and trying that was taking place- at its own pace…I got too wound up in my expectations and standards. Yes I know what I am worth, but at the time I failed to realize how much care was actually there for me…I didn’t give freely enough because I misunderstood my expectations as needs without patience…I failed to love with an open heart…but I want to learn from my mistakes.
I’ve learned a lot about life, love, and myself…I am grateful for what I’ve experienced, and I am glad that I can say: I still seek to learn, I still seek to grow, and I still seek to love.
I’ve got faith. I stay steady.
My core values:
1. My faith in God
2. My loving family
3. My ability to maintain humble
As I think intensely about my true desires over the course of the past few days….I keep my core values in mind. They are everything to me and are entirely what I am about. With every decision that I make in life there is not one time when one of these values do not cross my mind. They are attached to my heart and mind strings and will forever be a part of my being.
My faith in God is what keeps me going day by day. He gives me reason as to why I’m here…and belief that I don’t need to worry about anything. I have complete trust in my faith. I have learned that no matter what I encounter in life, it is all in the will of God. Whether good or bad, we are meant to go through these situations in order to learn very valid lessons…whether we acknowledge it then or later. Everyday struggles and blessings are all a part of growing. They help us to develop strength of character. With my faith I have only learned, and I yearn to constantly grow. I want to be a better person everyday. I want to learn from my mistakes. I want to remain positive…
My family reminds me everyday how great it is to feel loved and to be cared for. They remind me to stay true to myself. I don’t know what I’d do without them…I don’t believe that I’d be as compassionate as I am if it weren’t for them teaching me, and nourishing me to be someone who should strive for happiness. Growing up surrounded by so much love, I don’t believe in living life any other way…living life with relationships that only exude loving care and nourishment. They remind me to stay positive and to pursue my dreams…
My ability to maintain humble lies within my faith. In everything that I do, it is my ultimate goal to keep an attitude that reflects the light which reminds me to stay positive. I do my best to be sincere and to remain selfless. Optimism isn’t just a word for me…it’s how I see life…
These past few days haven’t been the easiest for me…they’ve been quite difficult. I am faced with making a decision that isn’t so black and white. It’s a decision that requires the inclusion of my core values, and it’s a decision that would also require the core values of another individual….The dilemma here now, is that, I’m not too sure that our values are at all similar…or even on the same level. And I think that, that is the biggest problem in this decision…
I only want to do what’s right…and when love is involved…things get complicated.
What do you do when you love a person so much….but, you aren’t certain that they will support and respect your values? What do you do when you love a person so much…but, you aren’t certain that they entirely understand you? What do you do when you love a person so much….but, they don’t realize how much you really do?
But….what do you do when you love a person so much that you just can’t let them go?
I find myself facing harder and harder decisions each day…
But the one thing that doesn’t change is how I feel, and how much I love this person…
As I continue to think about this decision of mine,
I stand at a crossroads.
Without suffering, there’d be no compassion.
Without compassion, there’d be no happiness.
I strongly believe that happiness is one of the most important things to achieve in life.
I believe that true happiness comes from within. We must first learn to love ourselves, but most importantly- we must first learn to love.
