My soul is on a radiant fire. Sometimes it’s much too much to comprehend, but it is a feeling that really isn’t all that hard to fathom. For you are in every which way a valid reason for the elevation of my being within. Sometimes I feel like she is detached from my flesh; rising higher into the sky, and the only thing keeping my exterior planted on the ground is gravity. However, like I said once before…gravity ain’t got nothing on me.
Everything that is you, is beyond the configured, dreamed, imagined, non-existent form of a man that I have ever stormed up in my vibrant coloured mind…and as creative as I can get with mixing brights, shades, tones, and pastels…I would have never thought up- you. All that I have ever wanted, beautifully exceeded a figment of intertwined heart beats and hopeful brain neurons. You are like the invention of a new colour; and you make my ongoing master piece shine as if it were under positive, electric love spot lights. I don’t believe that there is even such a thing…but what I do know is that since you came in to my blessed brightly coloured world- the pigments became more intense and I step into a place that feels like red velvet cheesecake, peach yogurt, vanilla ice cream, avocado shakes, Starbucks lattes, Extra gum in Maui Melon, warm blankets, aloe vera drinks, Life-Savers gummies, heated car seats…I could go on forever…and though all of those things are tangible, I am in a place where they have now become feelings. With you, I explore horizons that I thought only existed in sparkly fairy tales…but this, is reality. Your heart of gold, your beautiful character, your down-to-earth demeanor, your humbleness, your spiritual light, your sweetness, your genuiness, your kindness, your craziness, your smile, your voice, your hugs, your kisses…it is all REAL. You are REAL. We are for real. Now, I could use the word lucky…and I often feel that way sometimes…but you my love, are a beautiful blessing. I know that He sent you to me; for there is no other explanation for this realistic dream to be placed in my life. My gratitude goes beyond limitless turquoise waters; glistening under warm sunlight.
I was once flying skies with alizarin sunsets feeling free and elated…but since our Creator placed you beside me on the canvas that we were so delicately stroked onto- I fly skies with orange moons, shooting stars, and sheets of deep indigo, waiting patiently for glorious royal sunrises. The terms free and elated fall short from the feeling you provide; it’s something more than butterflies- it’s as heavenly as the starry skies. And as indescribable as this realistic dream is, I will continue to reach for heights of my aspirations. Praying that we will maintain ascension, growing- through Him; the heart and soul that is our reason for existence.
My love for you is as deep as the tones of jewels on the crown of a king. You, are my handsome king…and as your queen- I will stand by your side; in which I pray will be…
Forever.
Sincere fervent love,
The voice of my heart
It is so easy to head towards the route of frustration, distress, and hopelessness when you encounter a situation that doesn’t necessarily put your desires in favour; and as easy as that route is to take- I simply refuse.
I have always encouraged and continuously engage in the act of humility…no matter what the circumstance. It is a cruciality. Though I am human, and my nature is almost inevitable…I am constantly striving to be a Godly woman. For I know that whatever happens is within God’s will, and I therefore do not lean on my own understanding …but on God’s.
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.”
[Proverbs 3: 5-6]
I have learned, and am still learning to leave situations involving my emotions into God’s hands- for I cannot deal with these things alone. I can only be guided; given direction to what is truly meant to be…what God has planned for me; thus the feeling I am provided with is one of peace and gratitude.
I pray to be content with whatever the Lord has in store for me…and whatever it is…I know that it is nothing but amazing.
“…For I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength.”
[Philippians 4:11-13]
The Lord is my love.
I have been struck by His faithfulness.
For Him, I will shine like a bright light.
No matter how dark it gets.
Damn.
Watching this was like seeing my heart verbalize its emotions on stage.
She could not be more precise.
She could not be more real.
I feel her to the deepest of depths.
“…apparently, you forgot; that honesty begins by being real with yourself, and the ones you claim you love. The truth cannot be hidden.
What’s clouded in darkness will always come to light my love. You should have known that. Claiming you saw my light so clearly and brightly. I guess shit happens…”
But, being the amazing women that we are; we always remain shining.
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“Some n*ggas recognize the light, but they can’t handle the glare.” -Com Sense
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My heart on stage could not be more passionate.
I’m speechless.
No matter how many times I listen to this song, I will never grow tired of it. Every single time feels like the first. It takes me to a place where I only feel warm. My soul radiates with a positive aura. I only learned that music could do such a thing when I first heard this track. I would have to say that this is by far one of my favourite songs…ever. I’m almost certain that it’s number one. He speaks so eloquently of a love that should only ever be equal. Relying on faith, maintaining communication, trying to remain understanding, always respecting, cherishing, supporting, encouraging…simply loving genuinely…wholeheartedly. Mmmmmmmmmm…it makes me feel soooo good.
I can’t stop.
The light is my love.
(Shout outs to Robin. XO)
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RIGHT HERE
It took me some time,
But I now feel like I am here.
In the present.
PRESENTLY.
Mind & body.
Heart & soul.
One day at a time.
I put my fear behind me,
Realizing how much it tore me apart;
How much it tore us apart…
But now,
I’d like to start
Fresh & new.
Right here.
With you.
No more doubts.
We will live only-
Right here.
Focusing on each other
And the love that God had allowed to grow.
No jumping forward,
Nor jumping back.
We will progress at our own pace.
We will run our own race.
We will be right here, right now.
We will walk together.
We will fly together.
Two hearts.
Two minds.
Two souls.
Two individuals-
Equal.
We will let things flow.
Only seeking growth and development.
Letting our lights shine.
We will be divine.
Positively.
Right here.
No longer will I fear.
The thought of you alone,
Makes me feel safe.
And I know that I do not want to be anywhere else in the world-
But right here.
Right here with you.
Right here with me.
I had once loved you blindly,
But now I see…
Feeling lighter than ever
As if I could fly.
I spread my wings
And I reach out to you my hand.
Letting you know that through any storm…
I will confidently stand.
My mind is now open,
And so is my heart.
So, I now wonder…
Do you think that we could start?
Right here.
Just me and you?
No more trippin’
No feeling like I’m out of breath…
Because as I regain my senses I am more breathless than before…
The butterflies in my stomach want something more…
Than this feeling,
This high.
If you let me…
I will try.
We will try together.
Maintaining this embrace.
I am officially done with space.
I want to be right here.
Right here with you…
So, tell me…
How do you feel?
You know what’s real…
So, do you…
Just as much as I,
Want to be…
Right here?
Alright now…while I am at a peak in my journey of self-discovery here…let me just get a few things down…
I am a person who you generally would not think to go through a lot of hardship…particularly because my personality is one that’s really “sunny”…whatever that is. I’m one of those people who when you see them upset, it gets you upset kind of deal…it just ain’t a sight to see…especially for someone who does their best to only exude positive energy.
So, I like to learn the hard way. Let me further explain here…you know how there are some people that you meet in life and you’re like “damn, they always get the easy way out”? Yeah, I am definitely not one of those people. Life…well, is life. You live and…well, you learn. I apparently like to learn hard. I like to learn “hard” in many aspects of my life…but a grand subject in this “learning lesson” is…relationships.
I haven’t had the greatest past when it comes to life & love…in almost all cases I’ve played the “heartbreakee”. All but maybe one…which is a special case. But anyways, it’s a sad and shitty role…but hey, I’ve come to find that after you get over all the “damaged” and “jaded” perspectives, you only learn to really just learn from it all. Taking the positive from every situation, carrying that with you, and then going from there. Ok, now I’m not going to drop bombs and tears about my crappy heartbroken stories, but instead, this post was meant to share with you a moment of strength, clarity, and self-worth.
I’d like to share some positive with the world…and as any form of disclaimer, for whatever it’s worth…please note that whatever I’m about to say here is not to convey any sense of conceit; that’s not what it’s supposed to mean…
With every relationship I encounter, I only ever hope to learn from it. Whether it means getting my heart broken in the end, or a lifetime full of happiness- my main goal is to continuously learn and grow from the situation. I hope to learn how to be in and handle a relationship. I hope to learn how to better myself within one. I hope to learn about the other person. I hope to learn how to love. And I hope to learn about myself…There are so many things that I hope to learn within a relationship, but bottom line, that’s just it. I only ever want to learn, nourish, and grow.
Learning more about myself now…having just gone through, and still somewhat dealing with a past relationship, I’ve learned a lot about giving and receiving love. Having gone through so much difficulty and heartbreak in past experiences, I began to learn more and more about what I was worth and what I deserved. I had a tendency to give and give and…give, but didn’t really have such emotion or effort reciprocated; and instead, taken advantage of. My point is, I’ve come to learn a lot about my self-worth and how I feel I deserve to be treated.
I believe that I am a strong, independent, positive, genuine, sincere, and loving person. I stay humbled and I don’t ask for much. I am pleased with the simple things in life. Little gestures make me happy. I am really all about the “thought.” I am not into appearance or material possession. I appreciate honesty and effort in ways that you couldn’t imagine. I’ve got goals and ambition. I try to remain as selfless as possible. I am incredibly empathetic and I do my best to be understanding. I am constantly wanting to grow and learn from my mistakes. I care about your thoughts and opinions as much as I do my own. I only ever seek to be treated as, and I will only ever treat you as my equal. Because, so long as you don’t prove me wrong…I believe that you’re just as amazing and capable of shining a light that I aspire and hope to exude.
I’ve learned a lot about giving and receiving love, and I’ve learned that the highest expression of love is to give without expecting. I know that at many times within my past relationship I may have expected too much…and I’m sorry. Instead of just learning to appreciate the effort and trying that was taking place- at its own pace…I got too wound up in my expectations and standards. Yes I know what I am worth, but at the time I failed to realize how much care was actually there for me…I didn’t give freely enough because I misunderstood my expectations as needs without patience…I failed to love with an open heart…but I want to learn from my mistakes.
I’ve learned a lot about life, love, and myself…I am grateful for what I’ve experienced, and I am glad that I can say: I still seek to learn, I still seek to grow, and I still seek to love.
I’ve got faith. I stay steady.
